Don't worry. They're not normal things. Since both of my blogger friends whom I regularly follow did this I decided I'd join in, since I could just write this without too much thought. In no particular order:
1. Other People's Cars - My car has been in the shop about six times since the beginning of the semester. I like it when my friends and family have working cars.
2. Sheetz - Most Mount Union students will agree with me.
3. Acapella Groups - I can never be bored as long as I have YouTube.
4. Cover Artists in General - I can never be productive as long as I have YouTube.
5. Inside Jokes - The best part of practically any friendship.
6. Book to Movie Adaptions - They can be blasphemous, but I think Hollywood is doing a surprisingly good job recently and it makes me incredibly happy.
7. Fancy School Computers - I certainly wouldn't be able to do overly complicated fan art and photo manipulations without them.
8. Fun French Words - All right, I didn't want to learn French. But I have learned some surprisingly fun stuff.
9. Paper Towels - I used to hate paper towels. A wet paper towel is still sickening to me. But... I've worked as a janitor for the majority of this year. Paper towels are my best friend.
10. Word Wars - It's the middle of November, they're on the mind. I would not have 50+ pages of my novel written if I didn't have so many writer friends who have been ready to battle nightly for the last 26 days.
Happy Thanksgiving, be sure to thank God for all your tiny unimportant things in addition to your friends, family, and fandoms. (It was alliterative. I had to.)
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
10 Things You May or May Not Know About Being a PK
This seems like such an obvious idea for a post so I decided to humor it. Welcome to a little glimpse into the life of a pastor's kid. A lot of you may relate to this, even though I realize I have very few friends who are actually PK's. As usual, this is in my (ridiculously) blunt style but I think I've avoided offending anyone.
Also I decided it'd be fun to insert GIFs for once. I admit two of the items stumped me for gifs though.
1. You're automatically great at singing, acting, public speaking, and whatever else the church requires.
Whether you actually are or not. The church needs it, so you can provide it. Now, I've spent a good amount of time acquiring acting and singing skills. However, unlike most of my siblings, I stink at public speaking in general. But don't tell some people at church, they won't believe you.
2. Over the course of your life you get to learn pretty much the entire hymal
I feel sorry for modern PK's who probably don't get this joy. At this point if you give me practically any hymn in the United Methodist Hymal I can sing it for you and might have all the lyrics memorized. Including the verses that no one ever actually sings. Those are my favorites.
3. You get to know the inside of a church/lots of churches/every church
I'd like to say that I've been in so many churches now that I can automatically figure out the layout of any church. While some things are consistent in most churches, fortunately churches really are all designed differently so there's always something new to find. I love exploring churches. And playing hide and seek in churches.
4. You learn a lot of patience (and how to entertain yourself)
"Oh, Mommy is busy so you guys need to come with me? You can come sit in on my trustee meeting!"
All right, Daddy was always very understanding and let us go amuse ourselves in the nursery or something. But between meetings and visiting and tons and tons of services you do develop a high tolerance for long slow things. Services aren't usually a problem but when you have two services and you have to go to both eventually it gets to you. I'm not saying I doodle constantly in church but maybe you shouldn't look too closely at my bulletin. Or look at my bulletin from a great distance. Ignore my bulletin.
5. You're expected to know the answer to every question in every lesson. Ever.
I mean, I'm not going to deny that in general you can depend on my siblings and I to have an answer to everything. Whether it's right or not. (Okay, that's mostly me.) But it gets a bit tiresome when the teacher and all our fellow students automatically stare at you during the awkward silences when no one is answering. That's what you get for breaking the awkward silence one too many times, people start to depend on you.
6. It feels like you're automatically either the coolest kid or the least cool kid in youth group, Sunday School etc.
So this is just from my personal experience, I don't know about my siblings. It's also an exaggeration, don't take it too seriously. The thing is, you get a lot of "street cred" so to speak from having influence in the church. Your friends can depend on you to answer all the questions (ahem), know where everything is in the church, and convince the youth leader that playing laser tag will be highly beneficial for your spiritual lives. But, quite simply put, at the same time your friends assume you're going to be shocked and scandalized if they do anything slightly against the rules so if they want to do something slightly different you get excluded.
I admit that as a teenager I totally would have been scandalized. Good call, friends. But it still got depressing to get excluded, I have to admit. (It's all right, friends, I still love you.)
7. There is apparently at the very least a 60% chance that you're going to end up working in ministry
That highly scientific number is taken from the number of my siblings who are old enough to have a job and how many of them are doing something ministry-related at the moment (whether paid or unpaid). I didn't even count the fact that my every weekend is filled up with church goings-on and Bible Quizzing. Please, take my scientific number as fact, it will amuse me.
But the point is, it's in your blood. You can't escape it, and in general you don't really want to either.
8. People automatically assume that you're either really awesome or really messed up
So far from my experience, they aren't wrong. (My family is all in the really awesome category, for the record.) I like to point to the entertainment industry; you would be amazed at just how many singers, actors and famous people in general have at least one parent who is a pastor. Notable examples: Katy Perry, David Tennant, Denzel Washington, the Jonas Brothers, and pretty much at least one member of every Christian band ever. Being a PK does lend itself to the performing arts a bit. If you want something exciting done in certain churches you have to do it yourself, or at least start it yourself. (Then you end up running it forever, so it amounts to the same thing.)
9. You get to know some of the coolest people ever
I mean, you also meet the crazies, but you get those anywhere. You just can't beat the church for the most awesome people. This is where you find the bikers and addicts turned evangelist, the little old ladies whose families have been in the same church since before the church actually existed, the little kids who have more talent than you have on your best day, and all the rest.
Did you know that L.M. Montgomery, the author of Anne of Green Gables, was a pastor's wife? While she didn't get married until after the first two books in the series were published, you can see all throughout her works what a perfect grasp she has on human nature in general. Her wonderful portrayal of over-the-top characters remind me of people we've run into at various churches. I can definitely see how many of her humorous vignettes were probably inspired by her experiences being married to a minister.
10. You learn to stick a point on the end of anything
When you're writing last minute skits incorporating the entirety of the Emperor's New Groove or making up a children's sermon on the spot you have to learn to get a moral out of anything. "I've got some toothpicks in my bag, what sort of moral can I get out of those?" While it sometimes makes you feel a bit like Marmee in Little Women (Oh, you've gotten yourself into some sort of trouble, daughter? Here's what you can learn from it.) it's really a very helpful skill to have in life. At the most unexpected moments when I think I'm about to go absolutely crazy I suddenly get this big-picture view of life. I see, yeah, this is terrible now, but look what I've learned from it.
If I were to tell you everything I've learned (and am still learning) from being a PK I would have to write at least a six volume encyclopedia. As it is I may have to do another one of these because I had a few ideas I didn't use. But at the moment it seems this is one of the biggest lessons I've learned: God is always working in your life and no matter what the situation you can always find him.
Also I decided it'd be fun to insert GIFs for once. I admit two of the items stumped me for gifs though.
1. You're automatically great at singing, acting, public speaking, and whatever else the church requires.
Whether you actually are or not. The church needs it, so you can provide it. Now, I've spent a good amount of time acquiring acting and singing skills. However, unlike most of my siblings, I stink at public speaking in general. But don't tell some people at church, they won't believe you.
2. Over the course of your life you get to learn pretty much the entire hymal
3. You get to know the inside of a church/lots of churches/every church
I'd like to say that I've been in so many churches now that I can automatically figure out the layout of any church. While some things are consistent in most churches, fortunately churches really are all designed differently so there's always something new to find. I love exploring churches. And playing hide and seek in churches.
4. You learn a lot of patience (and how to entertain yourself)
"Oh, Mommy is busy so you guys need to come with me? You can come sit in on my trustee meeting!"
All right, Daddy was always very understanding and let us go amuse ourselves in the nursery or something. But between meetings and visiting and tons and tons of services you do develop a high tolerance for long slow things. Services aren't usually a problem but when you have two services and you have to go to both eventually it gets to you. I'm not saying I doodle constantly in church but maybe you shouldn't look too closely at my bulletin. Or look at my bulletin from a great distance. Ignore my bulletin.
5. You're expected to know the answer to every question in every lesson. Ever.
I mean, I'm not going to deny that in general you can depend on my siblings and I to have an answer to everything. Whether it's right or not. (Okay, that's mostly me.) But it gets a bit tiresome when the teacher and all our fellow students automatically stare at you during the awkward silences when no one is answering. That's what you get for breaking the awkward silence one too many times, people start to depend on you.
6. It feels like you're automatically either the coolest kid or the least cool kid in youth group, Sunday School etc.
So this is just from my personal experience, I don't know about my siblings. It's also an exaggeration, don't take it too seriously. The thing is, you get a lot of "street cred" so to speak from having influence in the church. Your friends can depend on you to answer all the questions (ahem), know where everything is in the church, and convince the youth leader that playing laser tag will be highly beneficial for your spiritual lives. But, quite simply put, at the same time your friends assume you're going to be shocked and scandalized if they do anything slightly against the rules so if they want to do something slightly different you get excluded.
I admit that as a teenager I totally would have been scandalized. Good call, friends. But it still got depressing to get excluded, I have to admit. (It's all right, friends, I still love you.)
7. There is apparently at the very least a 60% chance that you're going to end up working in ministry
That highly scientific number is taken from the number of my siblings who are old enough to have a job and how many of them are doing something ministry-related at the moment (whether paid or unpaid). I didn't even count the fact that my every weekend is filled up with church goings-on and Bible Quizzing. Please, take my scientific number as fact, it will amuse me.
But the point is, it's in your blood. You can't escape it, and in general you don't really want to either.
8. People automatically assume that you're either really awesome or really messed up
So far from my experience, they aren't wrong. (My family is all in the really awesome category, for the record.) I like to point to the entertainment industry; you would be amazed at just how many singers, actors and famous people in general have at least one parent who is a pastor. Notable examples: Katy Perry, David Tennant, Denzel Washington, the Jonas Brothers, and pretty much at least one member of every Christian band ever. Being a PK does lend itself to the performing arts a bit. If you want something exciting done in certain churches you have to do it yourself, or at least start it yourself. (Then you end up running it forever, so it amounts to the same thing.)
9. You get to know some of the coolest people ever
I mean, you also meet the crazies, but you get those anywhere. You just can't beat the church for the most awesome people. This is where you find the bikers and addicts turned evangelist, the little old ladies whose families have been in the same church since before the church actually existed, the little kids who have more talent than you have on your best day, and all the rest.
Did you know that L.M. Montgomery, the author of Anne of Green Gables, was a pastor's wife? While she didn't get married until after the first two books in the series were published, you can see all throughout her works what a perfect grasp she has on human nature in general. Her wonderful portrayal of over-the-top characters remind me of people we've run into at various churches. I can definitely see how many of her humorous vignettes were probably inspired by her experiences being married to a minister.
10. You learn to stick a point on the end of anything
When you're writing last minute skits incorporating the entirety of the Emperor's New Groove or making up a children's sermon on the spot you have to learn to get a moral out of anything. "I've got some toothpicks in my bag, what sort of moral can I get out of those?" While it sometimes makes you feel a bit like Marmee in Little Women (Oh, you've gotten yourself into some sort of trouble, daughter? Here's what you can learn from it.) it's really a very helpful skill to have in life. At the most unexpected moments when I think I'm about to go absolutely crazy I suddenly get this big-picture view of life. I see, yeah, this is terrible now, but look what I've learned from it.
If I were to tell you everything I've learned (and am still learning) from being a PK I would have to write at least a six volume encyclopedia. As it is I may have to do another one of these because I had a few ideas I didn't use. But at the moment it seems this is one of the biggest lessons I've learned: God is always working in your life and no matter what the situation you can always find him.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Why I Should Never Have an Advice Column
I won't bother checking when the last time I posted was. I really don't want to know.
But I've decided it's time to amuse my readers once more, so I'm going to share with you something completely non-blog related. I'll probably regret this, good thing I excel at posting things without really thinking that much.
Most of you probably know that I'm an aspiring novelist. So far I have two chapters of a book I've been planning since I was 9 or 10. I'm a little bit of a slow writer.
But I also have some amusing side stories that I write to amuse myself and my friends. These cover a variety of topics but lately some friends and I have been working on the same general story. Like the true geeks that we are, we've taken what started as essentially fan fiction and expanded it. Long story short: we have a storyline in which all four of us are Time Lords (like in Doctor Who, to the uninitiated). That's really all you need to know for now. If you desperately want to know more I'll tell you all about it.
So I'm going to share a little bit of that with you. This isn't narrative, this is my character writing a blog essentially (so it totally counts as a blog). I actually don't remember exactly how this came about, but somehow the idea of my character having a relationship advice column was suggested and I had to run with it. I went to Ask.com and found the most ridiculous questions I could and here are the results:
That about does it for now. I think I’ve done my good deed for the day. I’ll go reward myself with chocolate and not doing the laundry.
But I've decided it's time to amuse my readers once more, so I'm going to share with you something completely non-blog related. I'll probably regret this, good thing I excel at posting things without really thinking that much.
Most of you probably know that I'm an aspiring novelist. So far I have two chapters of a book I've been planning since I was 9 or 10. I'm a little bit of a slow writer.
But I also have some amusing side stories that I write to amuse myself and my friends. These cover a variety of topics but lately some friends and I have been working on the same general story. Like the true geeks that we are, we've taken what started as essentially fan fiction and expanded it. Long story short: we have a storyline in which all four of us are Time Lords (like in Doctor Who, to the uninitiated). That's really all you need to know for now. If you desperately want to know more I'll tell you all about it.
So I'm going to share a little bit of that with you. This isn't narrative, this is my character writing a blog essentially (so it totally counts as a blog). I actually don't remember exactly how this came about, but somehow the idea of my character having a relationship advice column was suggested and I had to run with it. I went to Ask.com and found the most ridiculous questions I could and here are the results:
I don’t know if you knew this, but when you’re a Time Lord and you carry a psychic paper of any kind sometimes you get spam mail. Sometimes it’s something exciting like a distress call and I can do something to help. Sometimes it’s a pizza order and I really can’t help. Sometimes it’s a completely different kind of distress call... we’ll see if I can help with those.
I’m referring to the abnormal amount of requests I’ve been receiving for relationship advice. I’ll open my psychic paper and there will be a pleading note from a teen (I hope they’re teens. I sincerely hope these people are teens.) asking for my help. Now, I personally was never a teenage girl, (I was a teenage werewolf, ask anyone), but you’d think with more than 500 years of dealing with life forms I would have picked up SOMETHING about relationships. So I’ll see if I can help these poor unfortunate souls.
Easy, it’s somewhere in the 400 year range.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm how much older? Are we talking buy-him-a-wheelchair older? Because that’s creepy. Also might not get him to like you, I suppose. Well, if you’re actually friends that means he must not dislike you, ergo, he likes you. Ta-da.
Chocolate. Someone to do the laundry.
Oh, seriously? Hm. I can do serious. Maybe.
Um, it inspires you. Having someone to love and work for is a lot more encouraging than living for yourself. Plus it’s nice to have a partner in crime.
“That’s a weird place to put a piano.”
“What planet did you get that hat on? I’d like to get one for myself.”
“Hey, I have a weird freckle on my face too!”
“Come with me if you want to live.”
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”
“I’m sorry I accidentally locked you in my TARDIS, what was your name again, you handsome devil?”
All guaranteed to work, I speak from experience.
Aha, slightly different from the conversation starters, I can provide you with some pick up lines. I’m not saying I’m great at flirting, but I’ve never been told I was bad at it. I’ve compiled a list for you.
Here are some classics:
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
And of course, this one:
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Here are some slightly bolder ones:
Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
And here are your creeper options:
Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you.
Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
This one’s for my friends, I regret nothing:
Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
And then there’s the Time Lord pick up line:
I was wondering if you had an extra heart, one of mine seems to have been stolen
Duct tape.
That about does it for now. I think I’ve done my good deed for the day. I’ll go reward myself with chocolate and not doing the laundry.
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