The Prodigal Brother

We will ignore the fact that it's been more than two months since I last posted.

I have always liked the parable of the prodigal son. It seemed to me the most fleshed out parable (besides possibly the good Samaritan) with even some interesting characters with some depth. When I was a kid the point was obvious; it was all about the son who went away and did bad things and came back and apologized and was forgiven. Everything else was minor.

Well the next important thing I realized is that the father in the story is very important. The most important, of course, because he's God. We can be incredibly thankful for the father in that parable because he's the one who loves us enough to forgive us. We can also try to put ourselves in the position of the father and learn a lesson about forgiving others.

But even from the beginning when I considered the other characters minor I thought the brother was obnoxious. What a downer, the story was perfect with a happy ending and then he just had to insert his opinions.

Unfortunately now that I'm older I realize that the part I am most likely to be in this story is the brother. I'm not likely to be the prodigal, it's not that I'm better than anyone else, it's just that I'm more likely to be the pompous high-and-mighty one.

What actually brought this up was a song (which I will provide at the end of this post) that pointed out what the oldest son was actually doing. He wasn't just being a jerk to his younger brother. He wasn't just giving his father and all his party guests the cold shoulder. He was self-righteously assuming that just because he hadn't been an idiot and spent his father's money and all that jazz that meant he deserved some kind of reward. He was presuming on his father's kindness (Romans 2:4) and trying to get something just for doing what he ought to have been doing.

Now I realize, that's how our world works. You do something good, you get rewarded. You do homework, you get a grade. You go to work, you get paid. You give a present to a friend, you get a thank you and probably a present of your own later on. That's kind of the way we think.

But then there's God, and he gave us everything that we have in the first place. We obey him and read his word and try to do good and we assume that this means we need to be rewarded. Whatever for? Everything you do should already be a thank you to God for simply creating you, let alone coming down and dying for you while you were a sinner and the opposite of deserving. We didn't even ask for that, like the prodigal son only asked to be made a servant.

That's what we're supposed to be doing, asking God to let us serve him. Instead we ask God why we're not being rewarded for our good deeds. Why, God, I gave my tithe religiously this year, why am I not getting back even more? I went on a mission trip, where's the answer to that little prayer this week? It's just a little prayer, is that too much to ask in return for all I've done?

That's why I've decided to finally finish this blog post today, since it's Thanksgiving. Instead of looking for thanks from God for doing what we should be doing anyway, we need to remember to give God thanks for what we don't even deserve.



Final note: Here's that song I referenced. It's even cooler because when they released it they made it a free download to drive home their point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mucrxt8KlfA

Identity of Storytelling

The following is an essay from my literature class I took last semester. It was essentially the final exam essay and, thankfully, I was given interesting options for topics. My favorite part of the class was talking about why reading and stories and fiction are so important. I had to use quotes from things we'd read in class or articles that fit certain criteria and introduce them a certain way and so on. I'd also developed a certain style to fit the professor's preferences, he was an interesting one to be sure. I've edited the style slightly for your benefit but it's still kind of hilarious how different my essay writing style is from my blog writing style.

Storytelling, in its variety of forms, can be used in countless ways.Telling a story is a very personal experience that requires a storyteller and an audience. As explained by Northrop Frye in The Educated Imagination, storytelling is essential to discovering and defining personal identity.

The first way storytelling builds identity is by distinguishing the human identity from the rest of the world. Separating “me” from “not me” is the first step in identifying who you are. But Frye also says that storytelling can re-connect a single identity to the rest of the world. 

“We discovered that the language of literature was associative: it uses figures of speech, like the simile and the metaphor, to suggest an identity between the human mind and the world outside it.”

Similes and metaphors compare things to each other by saying one thing is like another or one thing is another. These literary conventions can show how a human identity is comparable to something else in the world.

Hearing stories about other people or things teaches us about ourselves but can also make us feel better about ourselves, since we are not the ones making their mistakes. Paul Hernadi in his article “The Erotics of Retrospection: Historytelling, Audience Response, and the Strategies of Desire” discusses historical stories and fictional stories. In talking about how readers relate to characters, real or fictional, in a story he says, “Even when I follow fictive representations of actions, my attitude is not unlike that of the unobserved observer standing behind a two-way mirror. But such privileged status over people actually believed to have existed will enhance my self-esteem even if-or, rather, especially if-I admire them." He says that hearing about fictional characters making mistakes gives us a feeling of superiority. That feeling is increased if we are reading about real people or characters that we know and if they are people we admire as well then we feel proud that they have a fault which we do not have.

This relates back to storytelling having to do with identity, it separates your identity from the parts of the world that you don’t like. Northrop Frye, talking about a modern tendency to write about unhappy things rather than optimistic things, says, “In other words, literature not only leads us toward the regaining of identity, but it also separates this state from its opposite, the world we don’t like and want to get away from." By reading stories about unpleasant things we can distance them from ourselves. Reading the stories about other people experiencing things we don’t like can make us appreciate that we are not in their circumstances.

Storytelling can also help us understand others. In the same way that reading about someone can help us distance ourselves from things that we don’t like, it can also bring us closer to things we don’t understand. Hearing a story is a way of hearing another person’s experiences. John D. Ramage describes in an article the purpose of literature: “The task of literature, or at least of literature as a discipline, is somehow to complicate us, not simply by projecting us into foreign minds and sensibilities, but by revealing to us the means of understanding and judging those minds and sensibilities." Here he says that literature gives us a way of comparing other minds to our own. If we cannot relate the thoughts of others to our own we will have no way of understanding them. Stories give us other viewpoints and cause us to confront them and think about them until we understand how they do and don’t make sense.

The most obvious way in which storytelling accomplishes teaching us about others is in expressing the storyteller’s viewpoint. Every story has to communicate the author’s thoughts in some way because an author cannot tell a story without his or her own thoughts. In turn the author has been influenced by others and expresses their viewpoints in his or her writing. As Northrop Frye says when discussing authors, “A writer’s desire to write can only have come from a previous experience of literature, and he’ll start by imitating whatever he’s read." An author cannot write anything without imitating on some level what he or she has already read. In this way they share their experiences with their readers.

Frye continues that, through writing, the author releases experiences and emotions that would stay trapped inside otherwise. By expressing the ideas an author can make them more orderly and understand them more completely.

“For the serious good writer it releases his experiences or emotions from himself and incorporates them into literature, where they belong."

Frye is saying that the author’s experiences belong in literature. This is introducing the idea that the storyteller’s identity comes from storytelling. A person cannot have an identity without stories to tell about themselves and other people.

Storytelling encourages learning, whether about ourselves or about others, and then it helps us apply what we have learned. Frye gives a way in which storytelling helps us organize things that we have discovered about ourselves. “Our impressions of human life are picked up one by one, and remain for most of us loose and disorganized. But we constantly find things in literature that suddenly coordinate and bring into focus a great many such impressions.” Reading stories can help us take what we have learned from various sources and organize it into patterns. Making patterns and connections leads to deeper understanding which, in turn, leads to more discovery.

Learning and understanding is important because it does lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves. Charles E. Winquist in his essay “The Act of Storytelling and the Self's Homecoming” addresses what stories have to do with our identities.

“Without a history or without a story, there is very little that we can say about ourselves. The generalization of our humanity leaves us only with superfluous bodies.”

Winquist continues: “The natural self stripped of its history is neutral” (electronic). Winquist is sayingthat without stories a person has no identity at all. Stories make our history and give us a way to tell others about ourselves.

In conclusion, storytelling is necessary to the continual creation of our identities. We cannot have an identity to begin with without a story to tell These stories tell individuals what they need to know in order to understand each other. Telling a story will assist in organizing thoughts and memories. Also, in order to continue having an identity, we must discover more about ourselves and others. An efficient way of doing this is through storytelling.

Forbidden Love

Did I ever say I was going to stop making blog posts about my personal vendettas?

If I did I lied. In my defense I try not to claim to actually know what I'm talking about in these posts. Also in my defense it would be completely out of character for me to write something that didn't include some personal vendetta...

Okay, vendetta of the week... er, month: Sensible girls falling in love with the bad boy. The cliche of forbidden love.

Let me explain my position before I expound upon the surprising conclusion I reached (that's how all my blogs go, right?) I'll add a disclaimer; my position on this has been heavily influenced by conversations I've had with close friends about it. If you read this and you think "Hey, I told her that!" take it as a compliment.

The foundation of the matter is that if you're falling in love with someone that obviously, hopefully means you want to marry him someday. If you are a sensible, Godly woman then you should also know that Ephesians 5 says wives should submit to their husbands in everything and that the husband is the spiritual head of the household. (Don't get caught up in the submission thing, I'm still my stubborn, independent and fairly girl-power self. The rest of the chapter talks about wives loving their husbands. Nothing wrong with letting your man lead if he loves you like Christ.) Please correct me if I'm wrong, I don't have any experience with being in love with a delinquent, but I'm pretty sure that the bad boy is probably a bit spiritually lacking. Thus: not eligible to be spiritual head of household. Thus: not husband material. Thus: please don't fall in love with him.

So there's your surprisingly brief explanation of my opinion of this subject. This extends to my various friends and their crushes as well as to fictional characters. (Please, *insert character's name*, stop trying to reform him!)

But! (Here is that crucial "but" that makes all the difference in my blogs.) There is another very difficult teaching that comes into play here. Very difficult. Also very basic. Love your enemies. Love your neighbor. Welcome "the one who is weak in faith."

My first instinct when I run into such a character is to grab my friend and run. I suppose if I'm trying to be a good example that probably isn't the best idea. Though not husband material, these young men do need Godly friends to lead them in the right direction.

So, while it's not a good idea to marry the bad boy and then try to reform him, it's still a good idea to be trying to reform him. It's a dangerous line to tread, helping him while not allowing yourself to fall in love with him or vice versa, but opportunities to have an influence on someone else's life should not be missed.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

But seriously, girl. Stop falling in love with the bad boy, there's a much more deserving man out there somewhere who doesn't want you to settle for less.

Devious Surprising

This almost relates back to my last post, (which was, in fact, more than a month ago. I apologize.) My other triplet/blogosphere doppelganger, who can be found here, as well as the one referenced in my last blog who can still be found here are doing a connecting series of blogs. We're doing it purposefully this time too rather than me just copying an idea stolen from Zella and suggesting that D do the same.

You see, a year ago this week Emily and I surprised Dorothy with a visit. Anyone who doesn't know me well enough to know that most of my friends don't live in the same state as I do would say "Okay, that's nice, what's the big deal?" Well, to begin with these are both people I met online. We all three met on the Narnia forum "The Dancing Lawn" many years ago. Emily and I met first and decided that we were so much alike we must be twins. Later Dorothy joined and momentously it was suggested that we should become triplets because D was obviously cool enough to be one of us.

So there we were, awesome friends online who barely even knew where each of the others lived. It took me way too long to realize that Emily and I lived only 45 minutes from each other... Unfortunately D lives more than 9 hours away from us, making visiting a little difficult. Nonetheless, we had decided that it was going to happen last year.

This is where I suddenly decided to start thinking big. I truly, honestly do not usually do this. The exception to this rule is about surprises. I love surprises. I love them and will do abnormal things to pull them off. I've only pulled off a few notable ones; converting a pre-existing birthday party to a surprise party, a surprise visit from four hours away and of course, a surprise visit from nine hours away.

It was complicated, it involved emailing D's sister and rearranging schedules and some very complicated driving schemes by me and plot-naming. (It was called Operation Come Along Pond, this video made by Emily is a wonderful recap of it. I'm not going to recap, D already did that in her own amazing way and Emily did it a fair amount in her blog too. Read theirs.)

It was also amazing. The surprise was completely worth it and more. Emily and I thought through many scenarios about how we could reveal ourselves, as she describes in her blog (and D from her perspective in hers) we got there and figured out that she was sleeping. I led the way into her room and sat down on her bed, trying to seem like this was a perfectly normal thing to do. Her face when she saw me was priceless, there is an excellent screencap of it in the video, I did happen to be holding a video camera at the time.

What I probably can't convey to you very well is the amount of wonderful emotions that went into and around that first surprised look. We had spent months planning the surprise and there were so many ways it could have gone wrong. She could have figured it out before hand and she could have looked smugly confirmed in her suspicions. In some impossible turn of events she could be not thrilled to see us or her family could not be thrilled to see us.

But no, she was completely and utterly surprised, hadn't suspected a thing. She was also visibly and radiantly happy about it, though a bit shocked (and thus needing a blanket.) Her family was also awesome and happy. For me it was a relief and a culmination of months of anticipation and planning plus years of hoping and trying to meet each other. It's one of those moments you couldn't manufacture or recreate and could barely wish for.

My blogs always rabbit trail, I won't disappoint you now. My rabbit trail is about surprises. I've had discussion about the various "Love Languages", that's a popular book or something. I hear about them and go, "Well, I think all of those apply to me. That's very helpful... not." But if I had to make up my own love language I would choose surprises. I try to surprise people I love all the time. My budget is limited but if you admire something while shopping I've been known to snag it and buy it when you're not looking and you'll find it in your room later. *Cough*Roommate problems, we both do this*cough*. Some people have got the "Guess what????" text which, for the record, is almost always followed with "I love you" out of the blue.

I was trying to think about why I feel that surprises are so important. The person to whom I would like to show the most love, God, can't be surprised. He is, however, the expert at surprising. Some of my happiest moments come from those silly times when I desperately want something but think it's too ridiculous so I don't even ask God for it. His response is to give me that thing and more. Better yet, he responds with something I never would have thought to ask for, enter the surprise. How silly can I get? He knows I want that thing so why don't I just ask him? I know he'll follow through with something better in time anyway.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that surprises feel like a way of trying to imitate God's love for us. It's great to surprise something by giving them something they never would have even thought to ask for, you may even end up being a part of God's surprise for them, an answer to their prayer they never even prayed.

Behold, the crowning mercies melt,

The first surprises stay;

And in my dross is dropped a gift

For which I dare not pray:

That a man grow used to grief and joy

But not to night and day.

“A Second Childhood.” - G.K. Chesterton

Highlighted

I have, in fact, borrowed an idea from my triplet/blogosphere doppelganger. Borrowed sounds too nice. I've stolen an idea without plans of returning it, in fact I hope to pass it on. Zella here, on her wonderful (and regular, unlike mine) blog had a brilliant idea which I humbly suggest that some of my other blogging friends use.

In case you were too lazy to click on that link, Zella has a charming post in which she shared all of the verses she has highlighted in her Bible. I thought that was a pretty cool idea and I, too, practically never highlight or underline in my current Bible so if I've underlined something that means it must be pretty important to me.

So I flipped through my Bible yesterday tracking down all of my underlining. It was a rather long process and my loose definition of underlining includes verses that only have one or two words underlined. Here are the results, some of them may look rather familiar from previous blogs.

Psalm 17:3
Though you probe my heart and examine me at night,
though you test me, you will find nothing;
I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.

Romans 5:5
And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -

2 Timothy 1:9
who has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,

1 Peter 1:8
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,


Here's where it gets interesting, those are from my current Bible which was given to me when I graduated from High school. I also have my Bible that was given to me back in 2004 on my 11th birthday when, according to the page at the beginning, my favorite verse was Hebrews 10:25 and my life's ambition was to be a writer. There are some interesting underlinings, how the word "Presence" is inexplicably capitalized, the Jacob Marley verse (Isaiah 28:23), and a reference to something called the "House of Heroes", but there are also these.

Numbers 14:18a
The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion.

Job 9:15
Though I were innocent, I could not answer him;
I could only plead with my Judge for mercy.

Then the entire chapter of Psalm 16 is circled. I think I might even remember when I did that.

Psalm 33:16-19
No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them form death
and keep them alive in famine.

Psalm 40 is circled as well

Psalm 42: 5-6a
Why are you downcast, oh my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 63:3
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

Large portions of Psalm 73 are circled

Psalm 94: 18-19
When i said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul.

Psalm 103:11-12
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 119:53-54
Indignation grips me because of the wicked,
who have forsaken your law.
Your decrees are the theme of my song
wherever I lodge.

Interestingly Psalm 130 is circled as well, it is in my other Bible as well.

Psalm 147:17 (Blizzard verse)
He hurls down his hail like pebbles.
Who can withstand his icy blast?

Proverbs 4(which is circled):23
Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 18:12
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,
but humility comes before honor.

Proverbs 27:17 and 19
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.

Ecclesiastes 5:20
He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

Ecclesiastes 9:10a
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might,

Ha, check out the second half of that verse...

Isaiah 7:9b
If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.

Isaiah 11:9
They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.

Isaiah 42:9
See, the former things have taken place,
and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
I announce them to you.

Isaiah 43:10b
Before me no god was formed
nor will there be one after me.

Isaiah 44:5b
Still another will write on his hand, "The Lord's,"
and will take the name Israel.

Isaiah 49:25b
I  will contend with those who contend with you,
and your children I will save.

Jeremiah 15:20 (In case you didn't know what Bronze Wall Ministries' verse is)
I will make you a wall to this people,
a fortified wall of bronze;
they will fight against you
but will not overcome you,
for I am with you
to rescue and save you.

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Romans 15:4
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

1 John 2:17
The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Now you, the person who has taken the time to read this blog, you should take the time to do this yourself, I'd be most interested to see what verses have been important to you.

Absence

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"Or forgetful."

(I will be honest, that's how I always finish that line in my head.)

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Nationals always requires a blog post, right? Right.

I'm sure I have to put up with a lot of sad things in my life. Forgetting my lunch when I have my heart set on what I have packed. Not being able to go home for a weekend. Not running into friends at school. Not getting to spend time with my family. Little things, big things, huge things.

But I have decided that the saddest thing I consistently have to put up with is how far away my best friends live. I have awesome friends here in Ohio. There are some really amazing people who do actually live within an hour of my house (or one of my houses) but there are just so many brilliant, funny, amazing, sweet and wonderful people who live too far out of range. It's incredibly hard to only see all of these people once a year or so. It gets worse/better every year as I just keep meeting more and more awesome people.

Having nationals two weeks or so before my finals has kind of made me confront my priorities. Despite being a little bit lazy I am also a little bit obsessive about grades, it's my competitive nature. But apart from needing good grades for scholarships I've had it pointed out in many Biblical lessons that I really have no reason to obsess about grades because there are so many more important things.

To that end for the most part I give my friends' crises precedence over homework, as long as I don't completely blow off homework irresponsibly. I also long ago decided that Nationals was more important than perfect attendance for many many reasons.

There is a bit of a hitch in this plan, though, and it is, in fact, even addressed in the material we covered at nationals this year.

"Jesus replied: '"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself." All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'
Matthew 22:37-40 (Yeah, I used NIV, I'm old school.)

I'm becoming somewhat accomplished at the loving your neighbor part. I love doing things for and with friends so much and have sacrificed a lot for close friends. However, as admirable as it is to put your friends first at all times, there is that other step that should be the first step.

But encouragingly, the (annoyingly few) times I've managed to make it my first step I do find that everything else falls into place much easier.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

A Long Expected Adventure

I had a bit of an unexpected journey today. I didn't go in search of any dragons but it was just as invigorating. Let me explain: it's been one of those awesome days where you just have to tell someone all about how awesome your day was. Unfortunately, you all are that someone.

Despite waking up with the usual feeling of "I'm either going to not go to school or take a nap later today" school went surprisingly well, involving (wonder of wonders) a successful group project, a postponed quiz, only 2 1/2 out of 4 classes and the best literature class I've been in yet. (Why? The teacher showed up late. The class kind of mutinied. He gave in. In a cheerful sort of way.) Besides that all of the usual suspect (and one unusual) showed up at our usual "hang out and plot world domination" spot (you know who you are) and I ran into an intriguing individual about campus who I've been meaning to meet for a while. (You also know who you are.) So school was awesome. And I just saw a car with a dragon on it go by. (I had a bottle of Mountain Dew. My attention span....)

Then I went home and Liz was cleaning the carpets so I decided it was a good excuse to go for a walk in the woods. And kind of got purposefully lost. I originally went looking for some birds who were making interesting noises. I never found the birds but I found unexplainably green trees, a flower garden in the middle of the woods, some very cool stonework and all of those other things that make getting lost in the woods worthwhile.

All of this is to say that at this point in the day, with writer's group to look forward to, can it really get any better?

Well the answer is yes, it can. On earth I'd never ask for more than this in an awesome day, in the middle of the school year this is as awesome as it gets and it's pretty great. But an exciting thing is to think about some, you know, really awesome days we have to look forward to in heaven. The nice thing is, this doesn't diminish the awesomeness of days here on earth. It kind of makes them better, just as the bad days on earth prepare you for things, maybe the good days on earth prepare us so we won't be overwhelmed with the awesomeness in heaven.

Who am I kidding? There's no comparison and that makes it even better!! But in the meantime I'll go back to enjoying the awesome days here in the most enthusiastic way possible.

"Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we."
-G.K. Chesteron